“So, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, so that going forward we can better understand how to support you.”

I was holding the binder labeled ‘About Your Care’ she had given me upon walking into her office. She was the Program Coordinator for Clinical Resources through Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

She had already flipped through the nine different tabs of the binder, going over each section.

This isn’t the first time that I have felt outside of my own body since I started this journey. I was floating above the conversation, hearing her talking about a floor you can visit where they will fit you for a wig.

I have my support team there with me though. My husband of 19 years, my sister and my brother-in-law whom I have known since I was 12.

What I shared vs. what I wish I had shared about myself.

I told her that everything felt out of control in my life and the level of despair I was feeling. I shared with her that I had experienced trauma through the events that led up to my mom passing away from cancer. The fact that 12 years ago this month we drove through a snowstorm to get my mom to Dana Farber and how triggering it was for me to drive through two days of snowstorms to make it to this appointment. The stress of my mom being so sick around my daughter’s birthday, and now I am the one sick around my daughter’s birthday. Through tears and snot, I told her that I was strong and fierce and I would need reminders of how strong I am.

What I wish I had clearly communicated about myself:

I’ve recently been diagnosed with IBC Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma, staging still trying to be determined, but I keep hearing that It’s not good just not sure how bad and this is hard because I am a strong and independent woman who enjoys being the one to support others. I am struggling with not being in control which causes fear.

I have worked in the mental health field for the past 22 years. My training is based on providing Trauma Informed Care.

I’ve experienced some shit and I’ve seen some shit in my days, in my personal life as well as work. Those experiences have made me into who I am today. I’m a fighter. I will fight for you. I will believe in you until you give me a reason not to. I will advocate and stand up for what I believe in. If I’m in, I’m ALL in. I believe everyone should feel supported and loved. I’m fierce and unafraid when I’m all in.

Right now? I’m struggling with fear and not feeling in control.  

My quote going into 2026 was: “My biggest competition isn’t other people. It’s my own procrastination. My own ego. The knowledge I neglect, the negative behaviors I’ve been nurturing leading to my lack of creativity. Compete against THAT”

On 1/7/26 I started to think that I would be competing against much more than myself.

On 1/12/26 This was confirmed for me, and I received information that the biopsies of three areas in my breast and two biopsies of lymph nodes in my arm pit tested positive for cancer. I was told that this was very serious as it’s a very aggressive cancer. I hung up the phone from that conversation and embraced the silence of my home and the darkness outside and cried. All I could think about in that moment was my ‘Vision Board’ that I had made less than a week before and in a five-minute phone conversation I watched those goals I had created go up in flames.

My vision board turned into 1/16 Echo Cardiogram, 1/19 Full Body CT with and without contrast, 1/21 Breast Specialist, 1/21 Genetics testing, 1/23 Port placement surgery, 1/23 bone scan, 1/27 consult with oncologist at Dana Farber in Boston, 1/27 Brain MRI, 2/2 PET/CT for NM PET CT Skull base to Mid Thighs with DF CH Pet/CT.

My 2026 Vision board also included a focus on Gratitude. I have gratitude for the quickness of testing I’ve gone through. It will enable me to start chemotherapy sooner rather than later.

I have gratitude for EVERYONE who has remembered me in prayers or has sent me healing energy and positive vibes. To everyone who has messaged me, or has so generously donated financially, to everyone who has shared my link and told my story. To people who have offered to clean my house or cook for me or drive me to appointments. To people who send me funny reels. Gratitude builds strength and I need all the strength I can get right now, cause not only am I going to fight this cancer, but I have work to do while I fight it!

Ending 2025 had me thinking about what ‘tables’ I was sitting at in all the various aspects of my life. I recently ran into this thought after an experience I had that left me asking myself: ‘why would I sit at a table that I’m not invited to’?

I wrote myself a reminder about ‘choosing my table’ this coming year. Being intentional about whom I allow to influence my life.

I would like to invite you to ‘my table’, join me as I talk about my journey through cancer and what my mission is. I know I am not the only one who has received this kind of information. Whether it’s breast cancer, loss of a friend family member. Whatever it is, Let’s support each other. You are not alone, and I will walk with you for a bit on your journey if you need me to. “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” -Desmond Tutu